GRANNY FLAPJAX

CHATTING to my youngest son recently, he asked whether I had any regrets in life?

The question made me really think about my life—and what I’d change about it, if handed a ticket to a time-machine.

As you get older, time flies by so fast. ‘Til you reach the point where you realize many of the things you had planned—and always thought you had plenty of time to do—may not happen now.

That’s a real ‘wake-up-call’, especially when you still feel mentally able to achieve those things. Just perhaps not physically.

~ ~ ~

Looking back, the lion’s share of my life is regret-free.

I’ve been married to the same man for 48 years. We met three months before my 21st birthday. He was at college in Leicester and I worked as a hotel receptionist in a small town in Hampshire, where his parents lived. 

He came to the hotel looking for work during the Easter holidays. And while waiting to be seen, was inspired to come and chat-me-up at the front desk.

We only saw each other six times before getting married in the June—less than three months later.

He had a student flight booked for a trip to Canada and America in the summer holidays, where he has family, and luckily, was able to bag me a seat too — we spent our honeymoon travelling.

We had virtually no money, but were able to get work in Canada—which paid for the flights to Texas—from where we travelled to Monterrey in Mexico, back to Texas, then finally home to London, via New York.

When my parents passed away, I found a collection of letters which I’d written to them while on those travels. They’re a wonderful record of times past—and also very funny; written with such charming innocence.

One day I may choose to publish them on my blog.

During the 48 years we’ve shared, we’ve repeatedly ridden life’s rollercoaster.

It’s been a blast—intertwined with tragedy, sorrow and pride. But always an abundance of love; both for each other and our wonderful children and grandchildren.

Our first baby died when he was just five hours old, but then we were blessed with three more beautiful children, and over the years they have blossomed and grown into the most amazing human beings.

They’ve all overcome their own unique challenges in life. And while not millionaires (yet!), they’re richer in every other way for those experiences. 

Trustworthy, loving, caring and loyal are just a few of the qualities they’ve been able to pass on to their children. Our incredible grandchildren.

There are no words to describe the joy they’ve brought to us over the years. They’re truly wonderful and we feel privileged and blessed to be in their lives.

~ ~ ~

For the last 25 years of our working lives, we ran two businesses together: a design consultancy and two antique shops.

It was a crazy time with so much packed into every waking hour. We worked hard and played hard—yet thoroughly enjoyed it all. And the best part was the amazing people we met along the way. Some who are still friends today.

Now that we’re retired, if still boasting a bustling schedule, I do reflect on things from time-to-time. And some regrets do bubble up.

I regret my parents had such a hard life—which they didn’t deserve.

My father spent four years in a POW (Prisoner of War) camp at the hands of the Japanese during World War II.

Against all the odds, he survived and made a new life for himself back in England—working hard and living to a grand 83 years of age. But he never fully recovered from the mental and physical torture he suffered during his captivity.

My mother was his rock and they stayed together—despite enduring some tough times. Many couples in their shoes didn’t make it. She was incredible and is an inspiration to me every day.

I am strong because of her.

~ ~ ~

I regret the suffering my three children have endured for different reasons. 

If I could have swapped places with them, I would have. But thankfully they’ve all come through. And are, I believe, stronger and more confident people for conquering those challenges.

I also lament the fact I wasn’t able to sit any exams before I left school at 15, to take my first job. I dreamt of being a lawyer, which would have required a law degree. But going to university wasn’t possible for me then.

Not having a more successful career is a regret too. But I do still have an ‘ology’ in life skills—and am very proud of that.

I believe our lives are mostly mapped out; kind of written in the stars. And no matter what decisions we take, they’ll move us in particular directions.

I say this because there are so many instances when I’ve wondered “what if” I’d taken another path?

But they always lead me back to where I am today. And the fact that, if I’d made different decisions, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

I am reasonably fit, and a happy and contented wife, mother and grandmother. With a life rich in ‘special’ memories. And hopefully many more to create in the future.

If I was to give any advice, I’d say:

• Believe in yourself and love the person you are.
• Live life to the full (you only have one).
• Follow your instincts and take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves.
• Don’t be afraid to take a risk, as long as it’s a calculated one.
• Make every day count; time is precious.
• Enjoy the good times—and always try to learn from the not-so-good.
• Be proud of yourself and what you achieve—and you’ll have few regrets.

 

‘Til next time

Granny Flapjax

If this years’ great summer weather is a taste of things to come, it’s going to be hard for us Brits not to be enticed to stay home and take our future holidays right here!

So far this year, just visiting family and friends, my hubby and I have enjoyed trips to Cornwall, Derbyshire, North Yorkshire, Cumbria, Scotland and Wales—and I have to say, when all the elements are right, the UK takes some beating!

The West Country, with its Jurassic coastline, glorious sandy beaches and stunning scenery is always a treat, while Cumbria, featuring a feast of fabulous hills and majestic lakes offering ever-changing views as the setting sun turns day into night, is just a delight.

And right across England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland—you can never feel disappointed with the rich variety of vistas and the lush, history-soaked landscapes which stretch far and wide and flood your senses with joy and satisfaction. 

Aesthetically and historically we can rival the globe’s finest vacation destinations. But do we have things right when it comes to offering value for money?

You’ll hear many frustrated parents say how expensive it is to stay in the UK with their children—especially if their luck’s out on the weather front.

We do have holiday camps, but for the most part they fall short on every aspect of what they offer, and in my view are best avoided. There are caravan and camping sites aplenty. But even they can prove expensive when entertainment, food and other costs are taken into consideration.

It can also be argued that some—if not all—providers of UK holiday accommodation seem to adopt the philosophy that if it’s cheap it doesn’t need to be clean and tidy! We’ve stayed in countless hotels and B&B’s over the years where this has been the case and the accommodation has been a total letdown.

I also wonder what first impressions foreign tourists have when they initially touch tarmac and prepare to explore our beloved isle.

Flying in and out of our major airports is, it’s fair to say, a work-in-progress. But for now, we’ll stick with “in”.

If you’re lucky enough to retrieve your luggage smoothly, you’ll still be taken aback by your first port of call, the toilet facilities, which will leave you in no doubt you’re now on UK soil (pun intended).

Having travelled abroad a fair bit, I’ve never found loos as badly abused as they are by Brits, both overseas and here in the UK.

Disney in Florida was a classic example. When we hit the famous Epcot Centre, where a multitude of different countries are represented, the UK facilities were unquestionably the worst!

And it doesn’t matter where you go here in the UK—whether it be motorway services, train and bus stations or airports—it’s always the same.

I’ve been bending ears about this for years, because I simply don’t understand it. Do people treat their own bathrooms the same way? I somehow doubt it. Not least because  it’s down to them to clean up the mess.

Do they really lack an ounce of appreciation for the people employed to keep public toilets clean? It’s clearly not going to win many votes for best job in the world. But it’s still, nonetheless, a vital one—and someone has to do it.

Surely we have it in us to behave responsibly when using our nation’s loos? To ensure the people who pass through after us—and the heroic cleaners—are not subject to some of the horrors witnessed in past movements?

Having fought your way out of the airport and onto the next mode of transport, you can at least relax and look forward to a good night’s sleep at the accommodation you’ve booked in good faith.

Or can you?

In most cases, yes. Especially if you’re paying an arm-and-a-leg—as in dropping a fat sack of money on a place to stay.

But beware if trying to grab a great deal. When it sounds too good to be true it usually is!

When hunting down holiday accommodation in Britain—be it for one night or longer —it can be, to quote the Tom Cruise movie, “a risky business.”

Always proceed with caution and pay due diligence when drawn in by some of the glowing descriptions for vacation rooms or rental suites advertised online. And be sure to thoroughly scour reviews and, if possible, get a personal recommendation.

There’s nothing worse, after a long flight or epic journey, to arrive and find the accommodation you have high hopes for is a complete joke.

Unfortunately, there seems to be an abundance of these below-par offerings in the UK. which is scandalous when people are paying in advance—as most do today. And, in many cases, it can ruin a hard-earned holiday.

I can’t get my head around how people can get away with running any kind of sub-standard holiday accommodation—and not have a legal mark to measure up to.

We used to have AA and RAC inspectors going to spend a night and assess suitability. Awarding a star, if merited.

But that seems to have now fallen by the wayside. At least judging by some of the experiences my family and I have endured in recent years!

Considering the amount of income foreign and British tourists pour into the UK’s coffers each year, the government has a responsibility to ensure customers are getting great value for money. Whatever their outlay.

The Ministry for Sport and Tourism, which has tackled tourism issues in the UK since the government reshuffle in 2012, needs to set concrete industry standards which all accommodation providers have to meet.

And if they don’t, a deadline should be issued for any necessary upgrades or improvements to be made. After which—if not met—the guillotine drops and the business is shut down.

Having found a good place to stay in the UK (fingers crossed!), you’ll never be short of things to do. Not least due to Britain’s rich history, heritage and culture—and all related attractions and activities. 

If coming with children, you’ll have no problem keeping them entertained. A visit to an historic castle will give their culture muscle a good workout. Or take them for a day out at one of Britain’s many zoos or theme parks. 

Alton Towers, Legoland and Chessington World of Adventures are three of the best known. Not quite on a par with a trip to Disney! But still fun for all the family.

You’ll need to budget for the theme parks though. The entry prices are high despite several looking a little tired and shabby in places, and it often being a bit hit-&-miss when it comes to rides being open and equipment functioning optimally. But they’re still as popular as ever—and be prepared to queue a while for some of the main attractions!

Another great option, especially if the weather’s good, is to head to the coast to enjoy one of the UK’s famous array of seaside resorts. One of the benefits of being an island! 

 

 

 

Be smart when organising short or longer trips so you minimize any travel issues—such as rush-hour traffic if driving or taking a bus/coach—and check schedules online if you’re going anywhere by plane or train.

While we’re a fun, quirky bunch, there are 65 million of us packed onto these fair isles… which means getting around can take planning, co-ordination and most of all patience!

So, whether you’re coming from abroad or feel tempted to give this green and pleasant land a chance, surely the UK is worth considering in your future holiday plans.

’Til next time,

Granny FlapjaX

 

I have recently had cause to turn my attention to the state of the British care system, and feel a responsibility to shine a light on the challenges children currently face going through such a set-up.

While I accept a certain amount of red tape has to be cut through and due diligence taken when it comes to finding safe and secure homes, it also shouldn’t be such an arduous process and one where the children are innocent victims.

But who is really responsible for this stressful status quo? If we were to take a step back, pull out a zoom lens, then zero-in on the culprits making life so tough for the youth in this predicament, who has blood on their hands?

Does the blame lay solely with the parents, naively producing offspring like it’s the latest craze without proper thought and consideration as to how they’re actually going to provide and care for them? So often putting their own needs before those of the helpless offspring—and expecting tax-payers to fund this ineptitude?

Or should the authorities also shoulder their share of the glare?

Unquestionably they have an unenviable job. Making potentially life-changing calls on whether or not to leave vulnerable children in hostile environments with volatile parents, put them into care, or find them a short or long-term foster home, can never be done without thorough assessments and detailed investigations.

However, the time it takes to work through this process—usually featuring lengthy family court hearings—and draw the right conclusions is a major issue. While decisions are being made, children—sometimes tiny babies—are left at risk of physical, sexual or mental abuse—and frequently just neglected; the parents thinking they may lose them so caring even less.

But no matter the age, it’s abundantly clear social workers have a near-impossible task in trying to facilitate the removal of vulnerable children from dangerous environments and relocating them into safe ones.

Funding plays a huge part. Yet, the reality is there’s a desperate shortage, all over the country, of short and long-term foster carers. So, no matter how much money you throw at the issue, a shortage will likely still remain.

One reason for this is the long and arduous process which applicants are forced to endure—a crusade which can last more than six months.

There’s a seemingly endless amount of form-filling, much of which appears to be repetition, while detailed digging has to be done into an applicant’s past; his or her childhood, schools attended, addresses lived at, and misdemeanours committed.

While I agree 100% that police record and sex offender register checks are essential, I don’t understand the relevance of someone’s childhood and teenage years in making a decision.

Personally, I’m a very different person now to the one I was in my formative years—and have constantly evolved as an adult. Life’s experiences—good and bad—all play a part in how we grow and develop as people, and our attitudes and opinions change as we mature and take responsibility for ourselves and our lives.

So why then is it necessary to dig down into a person’s childhood and teenage years in determining whether or not they’ll make good foster parents, sometimes two or three decades later?

Makes no sense to me. Plus, the lengthy application process does nothing to attract potential foster families, or aid the children waiting to be placed.

It’s easy to see why so many would-be foster carers pull out of the process before completion. The lengthy, invasive and stressful plight leaves many—who likely would have provided a happy and safe family environment—bereft and dealing with hopes and spirits crushed by such an outdated system.

There has to be a better way moving forward—one which will both encourage more people to seriously consider fostering, and simplify the whole process. It needs to become less about form-filling and more about nurturing good people in healthy family units.

Above all, it has to be about the children—whether tots, teens or somewhere in-between—who deserve a safe and happy environment where they can live, play, flourish and grow.

‘Til next time,

Granny FlapjaX

 

 

I HONESTLY cannot find the words to describe how I felt last week when I saw a photo someone had shared on Facebook.

It was a picture of a dead male lion—placed in a sitting position—and behind it a grossly overweight man, holding a rifle in his right hand, with a woman—presumably his wife—sat just behind.

It wasn’t hard to go to Google and type in ‘Trophy Hunter Kills Lion’—and there are literally hundreds of photographs with both men and women proudly showing off their ‘kills’.

I find it hard to view pictures of such barbarity. But if that isn’t bad enough, alongside the poor animal is a smiling assassin. And I do mean killer. Because that’s what these people are: Killers. 

What is wrong with them? I ask this question seriously—because there has to be a fairly major issue with their mental stability.

Whether you’re a big cat fan or not (though surely most of us are) what right-minded person could really take any pleasure from killing these masterful kings of the cat world? And simply for entertainment. Does it genuinely give them a sense of achievement or is it really all about power?

I believe they are sick, unhappy people with no sense of worth and very low self-esteem. And sadly, because they have the financial wherewithal to do it, they can big themselves up by taking the lives of these beautiful, powerful giants of the animal kingdom—and then bragging about it.

It honestly makes me feel ashamed to be a human being. But, more to the point, how are these people even given free license to shoot and kill these amazing animals? Who is allowing this to happen? It has recently come to my attention that in South Africa they are actually breeding lions just for the trophy hunters to shoot them. Can this be acceptable?

Clearly killing our planet by polluting the air, filling the oceans with vast amounts of waste, destroying the rain forests and melting the polar ice caps isn’t enough for some. 

By going out and killing for pleasure, these callous cretins are throwing the natural balance of the animal world out of sync, decimating the food chain, and, for sure, driving many of the animals we’re privileged to live alongside into extinction.

And once they’re extinct, what happens then?

We need to understand that the natural world, of which we are a part, is inherently capable of looking after itself.

It will survive and recover from hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, floods and earthquakes. If humans weren’t here, everything would spring back to life, because that’s the force of nature.

But we are here—and sadly, because we’re interfering in the natural course of things, it would appear the earth is in a downward spiral.

I understand, to a point, why so many of the things relating to our animals in the wild—which I find so distasteful and unacceptable—happen. However, no matter which way I look at it, I can—and never will—condone the brutal killing of wild animals purely for the entertainment of the ‘sick’ rich.

It’s abhorrent, disgraceful, shameful, shocking, atrocious, deplorable, despicable and totally inexcusable that this is happening in the 21st century.

It HAS to be stopped. There are simply no justifiable reasons why this appalling practice should be allowed to continue.

Pressure must be put on those who partake—and those who allow them to do so.

The killing of our beautiful big cats and other precious wildlife for pleasure, has to be treated as a crime. 

And those who indulge must be punished accordingly.

’Til next time,

Granny FlapjaX

I CAN’T begin to explain how my heart breaks whenever I see or hear another story affecting this beautiful planet.
When, exactly, will we all come to our senses and start realizing just how important every single one of the amazing animals we share this planet with is to our existence?
I was deeply saddened to hear that ‘Sudan’, our last male Black Northern Rhino, had recently passed away. Apart from the incredibly talented and dedicated people who work tirelessly to try and save Earth’s multitude of threatened species, does anyone really care?
Why aren’t governments around the world doing something about this? And why aren’t we individually and collectively putting pressure on global governments to change laws, rules and regulations? If we persist in ignoring what is happening around us, how long will it be before it’s too late to do anything—or even worse, to save the entire planet?
We’ve become a species totally driven and brainwashed by the fleeting joy and superficial satisfaction of greed and money. Rather than focusing on and savouring the amazing planet we’re privileged to live on, we seem hell-bent on destroying our environment—our oceans, rain forests, marine life and wildlife. All of these are at our mercy and only WE can stop the destruction. Why? Because we triggered it in the first place!
Our selfish attitude is shameful. We think we can’t live without all the ‘things’ we believe make our lives happier. But, in reality, we can. Of course we can. We’re just spoilt—and very often emotionally detached from people, nature and the beauty of the world around us; the things that actually matter and give real meaning to our lives.
And given the runaway epidemic of mental health issues besieging millions of people across the globe, being obsessed with material things and ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ is doing us way more harm than good.
The more I talk to people, spanning a wide range of ages and demographics, I’m finding an underlying unhappiness. But what, specifically, is causing it?
On a daily basis we’re being put under more and more pressure—brainwashed, as we are, into living life in the fast lane. And, often, we simply don’t have time to take a step back and consider the potential damage and negative impact such a lifestyle is doing to and having on ourselves and our planet.
Surely it’s time we stepped up to the plate, took responsibility and changed the way we live our lives, in a bid to rebalance, regenerate and protect the environment.
So, what can be done? For starters, we can ramp up our protests to shops and supermarkets to clear plastic from their shelves. We don’t need it and are perfectly capable of shopping without bags or plastic wrapping. It’s just ridiculous! Let’s break open the packaging, where possible, remove the goods we want and leave the plastic for the shops to dispose of responsibly. Or, better still, buy all-natural products which don’t require such packaging in the first place. Why are we paying the shops to take home all their rubbish? Are we stupid?!We can campaign the government to set up a properly thought-out and organized nationwide recycling program. Clearly every council has different ideas, so why not put all those heads together to come up with a uniform plan? How about having same-colour bins and depots where all the materials can be sorted and shipped to the appropriate recycling centres?
It’s madness for every council to have different rules—and it also costs a lot more money. Bring it all under one roof and get the Minister for the Environment to take control. What, I ask, is hard about that? If we show the way, then the idea can be shared across the globe.

Next, let’s look at what’s happening to our wildlife. There are a huge number of species under threat of extinction. It’s already too late for the Northern Black Rhino. But how many more are we set to lose if we don’t buck our ideas up?
It’s time to stop putting the onus and responsibility on the animals to keep their species going. It’s the governments who allow their citizens to go out and brutally slaughter these majestic creatures for rhino horn, elephant tusk and fur. They are the guilty ones and should be held accountable.
Rhino horn is supposed to be an aphrodisiac. Really? Who even believes that? Where is the evidence? Greed has driven the desire for objects made with horns and tusks, and as a result they’ve become a highly sought-after commodity and attract large amounts of money.
Who decided that shark fins would make a good soup? How utterly appalling is that? Not only are these savages slicing off the shark fins, they’re also then cruelly tossing the butchered bodies back into the ocean, where the sharks will either drown or die a slow death over several days, as they’re eaten by other fish. How can people, in the 21st century, possibly think this kind of behaviour is acceptable? It’s a travesty and must be outlawed.
It’s not enough for western governments to make feeble attempts at stopping these atrocities by making the buying of ivory or rhino horn illegal. Of course that would help, but the problem needs addressing at source. Introduce the death penalty for poachers who are caught. That would make others think twice and surely be an effective deterrent.

And why should they be allowed to destroy our lives, which ultimately is what they will be doing? Take the Chinese to task over their killing of sharks for their fins. It’s an absolute disgrace and has to be stopped once-and-for-all.
No human life will change if they can’t eat shark fin soup, have ornaments made from ivory or rhino horn or indulge in sex minus a rhino horn aphrodisiac; if people are actually stupid enough to believe the latter will offer any real benefit on that front.
The rich indulge themselves in big-game hunting, encourage the horn and ivory trade with their wealth, but clearly have little respect for nature and the natural world; everything the latter offers to enrich our lives, our environment and make us better people.
Animals and wildlife are such an important part of our ecosystem, what do we imagine will happen to the planet without them? In chopping down the rain forests we’re eliminating natural habitats and causing massive disruption to creature life cycles. The planet is warming and weather patterns are changing. Rain now doesn’t come when it’s supposed to, and there are huge droughts. The polar ice caps are melting and polar bears are under threat because they can’t access the food they need to survive.

All of this is OUR fault and OUR responsibility. And surely not even necessary. I mean, how is chopping down rain forests even justified? What is it actually achieving?
This planet has been here for millions of years—but we as humans, a supposedly intelligent species, will be the cause of its very demise in a relatively short period of time if we don’t change our ways.
We have to act NOW and STOP the slaughter of wild animals; STOP the polluting of our oceans and marine life; and STOP the destruction of our rain forests.
Collectively we can do the right thing – the ONLY thing – and help SAVE this precious planet which has been entrusted to us in good faith.

Until next time,

Granny FlapjaX.

I’D like to make a plea to the BBC, ITV, Sky, BT and all the other television stations who, for some reason, seem to think that we, the viewers, don’t want to see fresh presenting blood being injected onto our screens.

It used to be the case that, when a man hit 65 or a woman 60, they’d retire from work gracefully—vacating their jobs and, in doing so, allowing the younger generation of presenters to naturally step into their shoes and climb another rung on the career ladder. Not anymore.

Of course, due to successive governments screwing up the UK’s finances, the landscape has changed and people are now having to work for longer before they can claim their pensions. A very unfair situation, but one we have to accept.

However, I don’t think we have to accept the ageing television presenters and news readers populating our screens who, it seems, will die in situ if not removed beforehand!
I cannot for one minute believe there aren’t thousands of young people out there—all over the world, in fact—who wouldn’t give their eye teeth for the chance to work in television.

If ‘experience’ is the thing predominantly keeping older presenters employed, how about we concoct some kind of compromise. How about we move the ‘oldies’ upstairs, a la football managers, and have them impart their wisdom and experience to the new presenting crop from behind the scenes? That way everyone moves forward—and we viewers enjoy fresh faces.

Hearing recently the price of a UK television licence is set to rise again in April, I really feel now is the perfect time to have a ‘spring clean’ throughout the TV companies. Give young people a chance—before they’re too old to launch a presenting career and essentially ‘miss the boat’.

I don’t want to name names, but one male presenter I used to live near as a child—who I know has several more years on the clock than me—looks like he should be retired, but is still going! And I simply can’t believe there isn’t another younger person out there who could do his job at least as well, if not better.

I don’t believe for a minute any of them cannot afford to retire, or at least take a back seat—not on the salaries they are being paid.

So what’s going on?

I simply don’t understand TV companies. I get they have to comply with certain rules in relation to diversity when it comes to making their employee selections. But surely we, the viewers, are entitled to see fresh and younger faces on our screens—and spread right across all genres.

Approaching this from another angle, I wonder if any of these ‘ageing’ presenters have even considered how they come across on our screens? Some of them appear on a daily basis, and I have to own up to often changing channels to avoid seeing them.

There is also the “same old, same old” aspect we get—more from presenters than news readers. The repeated one-liners and corny, cringeworthy jokes which seem to be accepted as ‘the norm’ by us, the British public. We are, in my opinion, far too accepting of the status quo—or perhaps simply too comfortable with familiarity?

So, what’s the answer?

The simple solution would surely be to set an age limit at which a presenter is required to vacate and ‘retire’ their position. When they hit the chosen mark, they’re out! And that would apply to both men and women, so there’s no sexism.

And if they really can’t contemplate a life without work, there’s always radio. Listening to a nice mature voice coming from the airwaves can be a joyous experience—and we don’t have to see the ‘wrinkly’ behind it (webcams are optional).

Having said that, I do think the regular injection of fresh blood and new talent should also apply to radio DJs and presenters. It comes across as often being like some kind of exclusive ‘club’ on the airwaves; i.e. if you’ve worked on stage or screen, or in TV/sport, you’re almost guaranteed a job on radio as well—no matter how old or specifically qualified you are!

I listen quite a lot and could count on one hand the station presenters who don’t appear on or in other mediums. How many jobs do you need for goodness sake? Just because you do an ‘alright’ job on television, doesn’t mean you’re necessarily suited to radio—and vice-versa.

And more seriously, if we want to engage our youth and inspire the next generation to take an interest in the world they’re growing up to be responsible for, then maybe younger faces presenting the facts and figures to them via their TVs, tablets or smartphones—faces closer in age who they could more readily relate to—would be a very positive thing.

When I was in my late teens to early twenties, I certainly wouldn’t have engaged with or been enchanted by a presenter who appeared to be as old as my grandfather—even if he was in black and white!

I don’t want to be unkind, but I think it’s high time those wielding the power within media companies should take a more considered overview of their ageing presenters—and give serious consideration to a change in policy.

Our talented buds need the chance to bloom!

Until next time

Granny Flapjax  X

A few days ago my hubby and I were walking in the beautiful winter sunshine when he asked me how my back was. That’s because he’s both very considerate and knows I’ve suffered back pain for a number of years now.
I’ve also endured pain in my neck, shoulder and head for over 30 years—due to a long-term condition called Spasmodic Torticollis (ST). ST is a strain of a lesser-known neurological disease called Dystonia, with symptoms akin to those experienced in Parkinson’s disease.
Please keep reading! I’m not seeking sympathy in this post. I just want to share my experiences and coping mechanisms in the hope I may be able to pass on some tips to anyone out there suffering from long-term pain.

When all my troubles began I was initially treated for depression, even though I wasn’t depressed. I had physical symptoms but, because my then doctor didn’t recognize them, he kept throwing more pills at me. To the point where I was taking 24 tablets a day!
At the time I had three young children, and eventually realized that, due to the medications, I was no longer the person I was before I started down that route. So, one day, I scooped up all the bottles of pills and flushed them down the toilet.
That was how we disposed of unused medication in those days—though now, of course, would be frowned upon as not a safe thing to do (polluting our water system etc.). We also now know that, when you come off certain types of medications—if not all—you should do so gradually. Wean yourself off under control so as to minimize withdrawal effects.
I survived, however, and slowly returned to being the person I knew as ‘me’, even if the physical symptoms remained.
After moving to a new area and changing doctors, I was referred to a neurologist – following a mental health assessment – after which I was declared ‘normal’. Whatever that is!
Following many hospital visits and trying ‘alternative’ treatments over the ensuing years—while running a full-time business with my hubby and bringing up our children—I began to realize that the pain I lived with on a daily basis was now a part of my life… and here to stay.
I’d long-since forgotten what it felt like to be pain-free. And, as ridiculous as it sounds, I actually thought I’d miss it if it wasn’t there! 
To aid my plight, I found a support group for people struggling with the same condition – and eventually became Chair. I’m not a fan of small groups, so amalgamated three into one as I found it easier to attract good speakers to a larger audience.
We addressed and resolved issues such as people struggling to get their treatment on time. And also helped them see it was they who were ultimately responsible for managing their condition.
It is still possible to have a good quality of life when going toe-to-toe on a daily basis with pain. But it’s up to us to embrace the situation—and believe we can dance with it.
Help is out there, for sure. But you also have to source and access that help—put simply: ask for it—as it won’t come looking for you.
I know from personal experience how hard that is to do. But accepting the pain and embracing it is the first step in making it a positive part of your life—and also puts you back in control.
I’ve had major surgery on my neck, followed by several years of physiotherapy support; a spinal fusion on my lower back; and latterly have been diagnosed with arthritis. All of which have left me with a cumulative amount of residual pain.
I am, though, very lucky to have the love and support of my husband and family—and try not to ‘moan’ too much… even if sometimes it’s very hard not to!
However, because I’ve lived with pain for so long now, I’ve learnt the best way to cope is to embrace it and treat it like a ‘friend’. As much as we’d like it to, it’s not going away. It may ease for a while—before, invariably, returning with a vengeance! And so, making friends with it is an effective way to venture forth.
Treating pain with a positive attitude definitely makes it easier to bear. Plus, that way, when I wake up each morning it just feels normal to me. It might take me a while to get going. But I don’t look upon it as a negative—just a part of my day.
I do take a nominal amount of painkillers when needed—but nothing like the number I’ve been prescribed. So I’m in control of that, too. I want to enjoy life, pain-‘n’-all, and not be in conflict with it. Medication can mask the pain temporarily, but is never a permanent fix. 
Diet can also play a part in helping with pain, particularly with arthritis. From experience I know that acidic and fatty foods can cause flare-ups. But, because everyone is different, it’s a good idea to keep a food diary so you have a record of which foods affect you. It doesn’t mean you should never eat those foods again. However, if you do indulge, be prepared!
Over the many years I’ve been living with pain, I’ve found so much inspiration from others in the same predicament. And, most of all, I’ve learnt not to be a ‘victim’.
Being positive and refusing to allow your situation to overwhelm you is the best and only way forward.
I hope penning this post and suggesting another way of thinking about pain can help improve your quality of life, if you’re struggling with pain on a daily basis.
Until next time.
Hugs,
Granny Flapjax X

 

How many of you out there share my frustrations about the current state of our Great British roads? Not so “GREAT” are they?! In fact, I believe that if something isn’t done soon, we’ll be driving on roads of a standard equivalent to a Third World country. Which for a ‘First World’ nation is simply embarrassing. 

Highway authorities and councils need to seriously ‘get a grip’, take control and give us the quality of roads we’re entitled to expect for the taxes we pay. And if they don’t take action soon, it’s up to us to kick up a fuss about the situation whenever possible and force them to act.

This time of year, with the sometimes challenging weather conditions, the roads deteriorate even more – and driving nationally or locally becomes hazardous if, like me, you’re trying to avoid damaging your car.

I’ve received horn-blasts, mouthed abuse and not-very-nice gestures from drivers when I’ve had to swerve my car off the regular driving line to avoid massive potholes in the road. I understand why—and I don’t like doing it. But I also don’t see why I should be faced with an expensive repair bill if forced to drive over dangerous potholes which shouldn’t be there in the first place.

What I especially cannot get my head around is that last year, during a two-week spell in the summer, we had to endure massive traffic hold-ups because workmen were out there filling up the potholes on one stretch of busy road I use regularly. There was a collective “Hooray!” among drivers at the time. But our joy/relief was short-lived—as less than six months later the potholes are back, bigger and ‘better’ than ever! 

On a recent supermarket run, I nearly ended up in what can only be described as a ‘sink-hole’. It was so deep you couldn’t even see the bottom—at least not from the driver’s seat. If you’d landed plum in the middle of that you’d have been in serious trouble. Amazingly, the highway crews filled that in within a few days—but at the same time missed all the other shallower potholes surrounding it. Very frustrating!

During the course of a year, my hubby and I will usually drive up to Scotland, down to Cornwall, and across to Wales—covering a good part of the UK. So I feel qualified to say that it isn’t just the ‘A and B’ roads—but the motorways too—which are crumbling.

At some point the Government needs to tackle the state of our highways head-on and come up with a plan—not just to repair the potholes, but also to resurface all the roads. Repairing them is only a temporary measure—and if the job isn’t done properly in the first place, it’ll end up costing us more. “Buy cheap buy twice” is a phrase that springs to mind. Obviously it’d be a long-term project—and an expensive one. But it simply has to be done. And ASAP. 

With more and more traffic cramming our roads by the day, we can’t go on putting up with the deterioration. Not only are we all at risk of serious damage to our vehicles, but journeys will take longer and longer as drivers are forced to slow down—creating extra traffic jams… and more road rage!

Though our frustrations may frequently threaten to boil over while out on the road, it’s important we don’t take them out on fellow drivers, and instead collectively target our ire at the Government, Highways England (Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland) and all the local or county councils responsible. And not go lightly, but let them have it—all guns blazing!

The Government may be struggling to find the money to do this work properly—but might I suggest they reconsider the HS2 project? Now that Carillion is being liquidated, there’s a perfect opportunity to re-assign the £53 Billion-plus into upgrading Britain’s roads. It makes no economic sense to build a section of rail which will improve the time of one train route, when there are millions of us drivers out there every day trying to navigate ever-deteriorating roads. 

I also wonder what portion of our Council Tax is being paid out each year to drivers whose cars have suffered extensive damage due to the state of the British roads? Perhaps we should insist those figures be published so we can see the real cost to the UK taxpayer.

And it isn’t a problem which just affects car drivers. What about all the truck and van drivers who hit our roads daily to help businesses thrive and keep our economy moving? Has anyone in Westminster even given a thought as to how firms will be affected when the roads finally crumble completely? I doubt it, as they’ll likely try to pass the buck and shirk responsibility—just as previous governments have. It’s all just so short-sighted!

But something HAS to be done. And it’s up to us, the people, to ensure action is taken. Please share your thoughts about the state of Britain’s roads—and your own country’s highways if you’re reading this outside the UK—in the Comments section below.

In the meantime, stay safe and drive carefully!

Granny Flapjax X